'Cause Packing Up is Hard to Do

Overwhelmed with cardboard boxes, u-haul reservations and the growing realization that I had accumulated way too much “stuff” over the past few years, I over-dramatically threw myself to the floor wishing I could bewitch it all away with the twitch of my nose! I've never claimed to be an organized person (umm...except maybe on my resume) but I was clearly in over my head. At that point, I couldn’t even force myself to look under my bed…or in my storage closet…afraid of what I might find! While laying there wallowing in my self-induced misery, a vivid memory from my childhood came rushing back with a derisive finger to say “I told you so!”

I remember it clear as day. I was 6 years old and my parents were away enjoying a “much-needed” vacation…without us! **Gasp** Well, as was usually the case, Grandma (or Grams as I affectionately call her) was drafted to be monster-sitter for the week. I was elated that she was staying with us because she is so much fun to have around and I could get away with anything…or so I thought! Well each day, we were required to complete our chores and ensure our rooms were nice and tidy before she would let us out to play. Conveniently for me, my chest of drawers was positioned diagonally in the corner of the room behind which there was plenty of space to quickly “store” my things. By the end of the week, Grams had caught on to my trickery, commenting on what a speedy cleaner I was! Following a quick rendez-vous with my faithful friend, the wooden spoon, I was forced to return to my room to sort through the mess that had been secretly mounting because I failed to do it right the first time.

Over twenty years have passed and apparently I hadn’t learned to shake the habit! Whether I was holding onto items because they held value to me or simply no longer had a use for something, the easiest thing to do was to “store” it by shoving it under my bed or tossing it into the storage closet. After all, I was just trying to create more space for myself! This method appeared to work well…until the day came when it was time to move and pack up all my things. Laying there in the middle of the floor, I knew what I had to do. It was time to roll up my sleeves and begin the tedious process of sorting through my belongings to properly store the meaningful items and discard those that were only taking up space. As I began to filter through my possessions, I was amazed by some of the clutter I was holding onto that I didn’t even realize! I even found a rock. A ROCK! I had to scratch my head and say “really Kelsey?” I mean, if I was going to save a rock, I should have at least put a label on it to remind me why it was apparently important enough to save because that thing was just weighing the box down! Needless to say, this wasn’t a task that was accomplished quickly and could have been avoided entirely had I taken the time to deal with each item immediately instead of prolonging the inevitable.

In so many ways, I think this closely resembles the state of our own hearts. There are times when we are faced with situations that we may not know how to handle so we tuck it away and avoid it completely; or maybe confronting the reality of our circumstances might prove to be too painful so we push it off to the corner of our hearts in hopes that it will be forgotten in the clutter of our lives. God is perpetually trying to move in our hearts. When we are “secretly storing” our emotions…our hurts, pains, failures, or inadequacies…they begin to accumulate leaving little room for God to move freely in our lives. There will inevitably come a time when you are left with no choice but to survey the reality of what has amassed in your heart. You may find that some things are okay to hold onto because they serve a purpose in God’s plan for you. It is likely though that you will find so many hidden rocks that are only weighing you down and need to be relinquished to God in order for Him to restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)

When I finally finished sorting through my things, I felt incredibly liberated! I had to take more trips to the dumpster than I am willing to admit, but I experienced such a sense of relief that I no longer had to carry the load. The challenging task will be in changing my habits to keep only the things that bring value to my life. Grams may not be looking now but God in His omniscient power sees even the things we think we’re secretly harboring. It’s time to give it up and give it all to Him…’cause packing up is hard to do!

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken." Psalm 34:17-20

Your Time is Your Life

“Your time is your life.” It’s a fairly simple statement. If I were to show my life detailed in a day-planner, at a glance it would appear that I am a busy individual. It’s true, in fact, that I am busy. It is only when the details of that day-planner are dissected that an accurate picture of my life can be drawn. Some of the details may look a little like this: I spend time going to work to earn a comfortable living for myself, going to the gym to feel better about myself, cooking food to feed myself, reading books to educate myself, watching the television to entertain myself, attending church to improve myself, hanging out with friends to connect myself, and sleeping to rest myself. Yes, there is a copious list of activities that keeps me busy around the clock. I am busy living MY life.

My neighbor across the hall is busy too. She is a single mother of four working two jobs to support her young children. Every day is a struggle to ensure there is food on the table and a roof over their heads. She is busy worrying that the thin walls aren’t enough to cover the sound of her tears as she cries herself to sleep every night. She scuttles by, unable to make eye contact or return a smile for fear that her façade might crack, betraying and unleashing the emotions that lie just beneath. Meanwhile, I am busy living MY life.

Then there’s the elderly gentleman living in the nursing home I drive by every day on my way to and from work. He is consumed with the clock as well. Every tick echoes off the white walls of his sterile room serving as a reminder of his loneliness. He waits to hear the ringing of a telephone, anticipating a call from his daughter living hundreds of miles away; a call he is never going to get because she is too busy with her own affairs. He gains hope when he sees the handle on the door turn, only to find that it’s just the nurse’s aide shuffling in to give him his medication, check him off the list and continue on with her rotation. His body may have slowed, but his mind is still busy remembering a life he once lived. Meanwhile, I am busy living MY life.

The guy who bags my groceries; he has a busy lifestyle as well. He spends his nights hopping from one rave party to another, searching for the next “fix” to numb his mind. He tries to forget the reality of his youth, but the haunting memories of abuse plague his every step. Time only victimizes his thoughts, offering no escape, little hope, and empty tomorrows. He fights with the decision to allow time to continue its cutting pain, or to cut his time short and leave it all behind, definitively. Meanwhile, I am busy living MY life.

“Your time is your life.” Turns out it’s not such a simple statement. While it is not my heart’s intent to spend my life busying myself with frivolous tasks centered on ME, my execution sometimes fails to follow my intentions. As the saying goes, “in order to live a life OF purpose, you have to live life ON purpose.” Changing how I spend my time will change how I spend my life. I was made BY God, FOR God, to share the love of Christ and serve as a vessel for Him to change the lives of those around me. My life is not mine. It belongs to Him and that requires a conscious decision to leave MYSELF behind. My life cannot be the same…it will not be the same.

“My children, our life should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” - 1 John 3:18

The Right Fit: Finding Your Calling

In my subconscious surrender to the female stereotype, I was out routinely shopping the other day when I noticed a woman trying on this gorgeous dress! I could practically hear a heavenly choir singing "Aaahhhhh!!" She looked absolutely stunning in this dress...so of course I decided I needed to have one just like it! I found a duplicate dress and proceeded to the fitting room, expecting to hear my own chorale production! To my dismay, it was a big “Wa Wa Wa Waaaa!!” I would have to introduce my booty to the ancient Chinese custom of binding if I wanted to do this dress justice!! It just wasn't the right fit for me!

I realized how closely this scenario parallels the pursuit to find our calling in life. It is so easy to look around us and envy the talents, ambitions and achievements of others. I’m sure I’m not the only one with the occasional reveries of performing on stage like Christina Aguilera or dunking a basketball like Lebron James. Okay so maybe that’s a little dramatic, but perhaps you wish you possessed your coworker’s natural ability to speak in front of a crowd with ease or your friend’s uncanny knack for making a complete stranger feel as if they’ve known each other for a lifetime. We want to emulate a desired trait and try to fit ourselves into a mold that was probably never designed for us. We may be successful at squeezing into the mold, but it becomes very uncomfortable!

We have all been uniquely called by God and He created us with specific gifts to fulfill the purpose He designed for our lives. Scripture shows us in 1 Corinthians 12:4-31 that just as one body has many parts integral to the health of the body, we as believers in Christ have specific callings imperative to the unity of the church. 1 Corinthians 12:18 specifically tells us that God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be! How encouraging it is to know that God has already given each of us everything we need to fulfill His plan for our lives!

Back to my shopping experience, I reluctantly accepted the fact that I was not going to be leaving the store that day with the gorgeous dress. I decided to peruse the store as I stumbled upon a pair of what looked to be the most comfortable sweatpants on earth! Given my previous experience in the fitting room, I immediately looked at the tag and was elated to read “One Size Fits All!!” PERFECT! I left the store, toting a pair of “One Size Fits All” sweatpants for both me AND my sister!

Even though we may have unique giftings in life, there is one calling that was intended for all of us! Like a “One Size Fits All”, we are all called to LOVE! In Mark 12:28-31, a religious scholar asked Jesus what the greatest commandment is, to which Jesus responded “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lordour God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lordyour God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Above ALL ELSE, He simply calls us to love Him and to extend that same love to others! It truly is the right fit!

Procrastination: A promise for tomorrow serves what purpose today?

The warning signs are all there; everyone else sees it. A deadline looms and I formulate a million reasons why I cannot complete the task…right now. I indulge in every possible distraction, convincing myself that I will get to the task…in a moment. I find a way to justify my decision to delay the task; “I know I need to get this done, but, if I watch just ONE more episode of the Cake Boss, I bet I could totally enter the Ultimate Cake Off contest and I would soooo win $10,000!” This is my story. My name is Kelsey and…I am a procrastinator.

Those of you that know me well can truly appreciate the accuracy of that description! I have been plagued with this “disease” for as long as I can remember. I approach every scenario with the best of intentions but have yet to find a cure. I have even tried those self-help books. You know the ones – 21 Days to a Better You! Unfortunately, they have proven to be of little use…only because I manage to find a way to procrastinate reading them! I know I am not alone in my plight. Logic would tell us that, in order to find a solution, we must identify the cause.

I have given this considerable thought. I think often times I put off certain tasks because I am afraid of failing or under-delivering. I am afraid that the product of my efforts is not going to be “good enough.” One of the most quoted scriptures from the Bible is Philippians 4:13 which was written with the intent to empower us. The apostle Paul writes, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!” This is not only meant to encourage us, but to also serve as a reminder that it is God that gives us our abilities. When we begin to doubt ourselves, we are placing limitations on the God that spoke life into existence; the God that, after seeing all that He had made, called it VERY good! (Genesis 1:31)

This leads me to then ask myself, who am I trying to please? Galatians 1:10 poses this very question. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” If we already know that God has given us the ability to do ALL things through Him, and if everything He has made is VERY good, it should be safe to assume that our efforts will meet His approval.

The caveat here is the implication that there is effort devoted on our part. If I am assigned to a project at work and I know that my boss is measuring my progress, I am motivated to complete the assignment as expected. She knows I have the aptitude and skills to successfully achieve the goal and I cannot let distractions stand in the way of accomplishing the task. On a grander scale, God has gifted us all with talents and abilities and He is fully aware of our potential. If we allow distractions to prevent us from using these gifts, we are delaying God’s plan for our lives. The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 serves as a perfect example of not using the talents God has given. We have to actually DO something, take action or dedicate our efforts if we want to fulfill our potential and live out our purpose, as designed by God.

My actions, and inactions, up to this point have contributed to my story and will inevitably continue to do so. God has fully equipped us to ensure that every page of our story has purpose; and purpose exists in the form of confidence from God. Fortunately, we all share the same opportunity to shape the outcome of our stories, not tomorrow…but TODAY. Proverbs 27:1 says “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” I know when my story ends, I want to hear the words “well done, my good and faithful servant, well done!”

The Price Was Right: Finding Your Identity in Christ

I was watching The Price is Right the other day and couldn’t help but notice, between all the Med Alert and Hoveround mobility vehicle commercials, there are so many commercials about identity theft. It really made me stop and think about a few things. First, I realized that apparently I am way too young to be watching The Price is Right as their target audience is obviously a demographic that “Depends” on denture creams and mail order prescription drugs (pun intended)! My mind quickly abandoned that train of thought and started focusing on how rampant identity theft is in today’s society. However, the identity theft I am thinking of has nothing to do with social security numbers, credit cards and plummeting credit scores. I am referring to our identity as individuals; identity as others perceive us and as we perceive ourselves.

Webster defines identity as “the collective aspect of the set of characteristics by which a thing is definitively recognizable or known. “ In other words, our identity is the combination of things that make us who we are. While this may be a rudimentary explanation, our identity is what gives us a sense of worth and value. It is this kind of identity that is so easily stolen from us; and this kind of identity theft is so dangerous because it strips us of who we are.

First and foremost, it is imperative to recognize that, as Christians, our identity is in Christ. Colossians 3:3 says that we are hidden with Christ in God. There is an enemy that will do everything he can to deceive us and steal that identity. We are constantly being fed lies that give us a false sense of security. You see this epitomized in different ways, such as “the path to self discovery” and “finding your inner being.” Let’s think about this for a second. By nature, we are imperfect people; we are flawed. If we venture down that path with our flawed perception, the only thing we will find is one big mess proving how imperfect we really are. However, when we identify ourselves with Christ, we know that He sees us and calls us beautiful!

I think sometimes we view ourselves as diamonds in the rough; lumps of coal that have the potential to become something valuable. I know in some cases that analogy serves its purpose, but I don’t think this is how God views us. He does not love us because of our potential; He loves us just because……because we are His. It is very easy to let relationships dictate who we are and to let our successes and failures define us. When we allow this to happen, we are allowing our identity to be stripped out from underneath us.

The good news is that the steps to regaining our identity are so easy! We just have to believe the truths of God’s Word! Colossians 3:12 tells us we are His chosen ones, holy and dearly loved! The best firewall for protection of our identity is to bury those truths in our heart. Don’t become that demographic that “Depends” on others for a sense of value and allows circumstances to define identities. Christ paid a price and died for you because YOU ARE HIS…and That Price was Right!

The Potter

While I am thinking about my next blog, I wanted to post this poem I had written a few years ago. I don't typically write poems, but I had written this for someone who was close to me when she found out she had cancer. We all encounter obstacles in life; some are hard fought and tear-filled struggles and others leave us shaking our fists at God. When battling through the array of emotions we experience in these challenges, it is so important to remember that He is working in us and through us for a bigger purpose! I hope this might offer a little encouragement...

The Potter

There are so many questions and so many fears,

So many reasons to let flow the tears.

You are faced with a challenge, a trial you see,

It is easy to wonder, God, why me?

Think of the Potter who works with His clay,

His hands molding and shaping and forming each day.

Every crevice and curve is laced with His love

As He admires the masterpiece from up above.

Before His work can come to an end

To the fire His creation, His art He must send.

How long it will take, only He knows

But in fire its strength builds and grows.

To perfect His work, His masterpiece,

He adds this and that while His love does not cease.

Again in the fire His creation must go,

With patience He waits, for His work He will show.

From the fire emerges this beautiful thing

To His face, a smile it surely does bring.

The Potter knows what’s right and what’s wrong,

His creation He’s made to hold and stand strong.

When you begin to question and ask God why,

Remember the Potter and try not to cry.

Put your faith in Him, for His love will not fail

And through this trial, you will prevail!

Kelsey Hellwarth

Complacency: The Great Inhibitor

As we go through life, it becomes all too easy to fall into the trap of complacency. Each morning I wake up and go through the motions that have probably become ritual, not varying much from day to day. Sure there are those days when the snooze button is hit one too many times, altering my routine a bit. I may not have time to see my friend who welcomes me to McDonalds every morning and asks if she can take my order, even though she knows it’s going to be a “large diet coke…that’s all, thanks,” (hey, we all have our vices). All in all though, my days are interchangeable; Tuesday could be Thursday and Wednesday could be Monday. It can be a little monotonous, and if there is one thing I know, it’s that monotony has a way of dulling our focus. The trouble is, when monotony becomes acceptable, it leads to complacency, and the danger of complacency is its ability to stifle any ambition we have for personal growth. This is where I am, this is me: an unintentionally complacent individual going through the monotony of life (with an unhealthy addiction to diet coke, apparently).

Well, I recently moved to a new place, which theoretically shouldn’t really change too many things other than maybe taking a little different route to work. Crazy as it may sound, this seemingly unimportant event has opened my eyes to the power of complacency. Though I am bummed I don’t get to see my McDonalds friend anymore, I am embracing the opportunity to take on life with a new perspective. Furthermore, I am trying not to ritualize my new perspective, shedding my own clouded glasses to look through the spectacles of another.

The most staggering revelation to me was the reality of how complacent I had become in my walk with Christ. Relationships sometimes lose their vim and vigor and can become something that we take advantage of, without intentions of doing so. Our relationship with God is no exception. In fact, it is probably easier for this to happen because of the apparent “intangibility” of God. The lack of a physical being sitting in front of us presents a challenge for our finite minds.

In my attempts to take on a new perspective, I have switched my spectacles to focus on the broader view of God’s intentions for us. He created us to commune with one another, to relate and to love, just as He wants to commune with us. Think about the most important person in your life. You anticipate and look forward to the time spent with that person, time to share with each other, time to laugh, time to support and to be supported. How much more do you think our Creator anticipates that same time with us?

I just recently made a purchase on Amazon and, I tell you what, I am constantly checking my email to receive word on the status of my purchase. I got so excited when that email popped up that said my package had been shipped! Then the process of tracking the package began. I get really frustrated when the shipping service takes forever to update its system with my information; I log in every hour to see if there is any progress (I know, I know…get a life, right?!).

When I stopped and realized how much anticipation I had to receive correspondence regarding a package, it dawned on me how God might feel about communication with me. He is so excited about hearing from us and longs for us to deepen our relationship with Him. The sad reality was He had to probably go days without much communication from me because I had become complacent. How disheartening?! I had let the minutia of life take over…and I was okay with it. Thankfully, we serve a forgiving and understanding God so full of grace and love. He never grows so disheartened that He would leave us; He patiently waits on us, longing to shower us with His love!

Now I am not trying to tell you that you should adopt my way of thinking, but simply challenging you to look at your life from a different perspective. You, too, might realize that complacency has set in, ambitions have been abandoned…and relationships have suffered. However, if you look beyond that, you will see there is hope for change! We are new creatures in Him, and with that, all things start anew! Try picking up a pair of new spectacles on life. You might be surprised at what you see! :)